- Right from creation that God instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden. God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. The institution of marriage begun at Eden.
Gen. 2:18. The basis for God establishing marriage is to make companionship (Gen. 2:18) reproduction (Gen 1:28) fulfillment of sexual urge and etc. be materialized. Institution of marriage begun in the garden of Eden.
Description of Marriage
- “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh”. Gen. 2:24 KJV). There are some issues or vocabularies that need to expatiated upon.
- “A man leaves his family”. It means a man should first make a move in searching for a partner as it was practiced in Ancient East. Matthew 25:5, 6 (Christ Object Lesson Pg 405 by Ellen G. White). As God usually searches for Israel (Hosea 3:1-2), the same thing applies to men who are interested in marriage to search for their love ones.
- “Shall cleave unto his wife”. It supposes to have their privacy, shall not allow interference from anywhere to set in their marriage, and shall not share their marital issues with others except counselors, doctors, pastors, elders etc. whom they can confide in them and are considered as their confidants. This should arise when they think the issue is above their scope for the two amicably solve it themselves.
- “Shall be one flesh”. This also means, they shall see no difference among them. They will share their responsibilities,feelings and problems together. None of them have power over his or her body (1 Cor 7:4). Finally, it should be obscured in their mind that, a partner belongs to this tribe, and they are like this, He or she is from a different family, one speaks a language different from mine.
Preparation for Marriage
Preparation for marriage seeks to address on physical or material preparation and spiritual preparation.
Physical or Material
- For the consummation of marriage instituted by God at the Garden of Eden, God first created the garden to be a place of habitation and accommodation (Gen 2:8). Therefore it is incumbent on every man who wants to marry to secure an accommodation first before thinking of the rest of issues confronting marriage.
- In addition, God provided them meat, herbs and trees which their life would be depended upon. (Gen 1:25, 29). It is also required from us to think about what the two shall depend upon to meet a blissful future in order to curtail a deplorable life that would be full of bitterness and misery.
- Again, God did not leave them in isolation but He secured them an employment that will result in a happy life, that will keep them busy. This will serve as an exercise and that will result them in getting something from their travail. So He installed them in the Garden of Eden to dress and keep it (Gen 2:15).
- In view of this, it is advisable for the couples to secure job more especially on the part of the man. So that the two will be producers. A situation whereby one of them becomes a sole producer and the other a sole consumer will unfold a discordant atmosphere at home. The producer always become tired and a tired man always become angry. Otherwise, the consumer always become a victim of insult and reproach. In view of this the two should try as much as possible having something to do. Institution of marriage for mankind is necessary.
- There are so many couples who are encountering so many problems in their marriage because they neglected the thorough spiritual preparation once they had their material things. Marriage has a life-long effects on couples therefore there is a need to seek for God’s intervention.
- In her book entitled “Messages to Young People PG 460” Ellen G. White shares pieces of advice with us. “If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated”. We should pray for God to choose first our partners for us before we choose. We must seek counsel from the word of God.
What drives you to marry?
- Most of the Youth are driven to marriage as the result of assistance receiving from somebody. So they do not think whether they are capable are not. They think if they fail to grasp the chance now, somebody may soon retrieve from them. They soon forget that Manna will not fall every day, and once it is coming from one source, one day it will finish and gets to their turn. Some also are driven as the result beauty. If I lose this beautiful young woman, I do not think I can get someone like her. Instead of checking his strength, maturity, financial capability, he rashes and later regrets. He forgets that money too is one of the ingredients that emerges beauty.
- Most of them are driven by peer pressure, family, church members, environment and the nature of their business etc. They usually become oblivious of the great responsibilities ahead of them. They also overlook the seriousness that is demanded from them to begin with.
What to be established in one’s mind?
- One should get in mind that, once he is not an angel, his partner too may not be angel. Again it is not automatic that he or she will meet all his or her expectations. So far as the fellow has different training and background, at times different culture, different temperament.
- In addition, one must be ready to compromise, because they may differ in food taste, values, dressing, language, family, future dreams and etc. Also, one should view marriage as washing his or her cloth. It takes two hands to wash, because an attempt to use one hand cannot be possible. So the two should bring their resources, their plans, their time and energy together to get going.
- Furthermore, one must look beyond what he or she sees, because what he or she sees may not be the reality. Things may glitter as gold but thorough and due diligent work should be done else by the time the ugly things begin to emerge, it would be late to say no. One must also hear beyond what he or she is informed because the negative information may be as the result of sheer hatred, while the positive recommended information may just to canvass for a counterfeit commodity to be seen as the original. One should not look more to the temporal advantages that he/she would gain than to the peace that he or she would enjoy throughout his or her life.
Choosing a Life Partner4>
Choosing a life partner and contemplating on marriage, one must engage with the motive of love and heaven as the ultimate.
Creating a Standard
Before one attempts to choose a partner, one must set his or her own standard, and this will serve as his or her plan to drive his or her choice. Standard varies because it is relative to an individuals’ taste. Some consider a particular tribe, Height, Education, Character, Honesty, Beauty etc. We have several general standards that cuts across. In spite of individual standard and general standard, I believe that we must make heaven to champion all our standards, because we must make a family on earth as the one that will represent in heaven. Institution of marriage is very important.
Again, if our standard is also championed by love, that love will cover any comments that outsiders will pass on your partner. For instance, if outsiders see your partner as a short person, by looking through the spectacle of love, she or he will be the tallest in a crowd to identify. But if one’s standard is championed by the material aspect, such as beauty, riches and etc. When they are no more, one would begin to have a problem and can result in divorce. So, before you will have somebody in mind, first of all consider whether the fellow falls within your standards or not. Institution of marriage for mankind is very Good.
Institution of marriage-The writer
- Pastor Paul Dapaah Siakwan
North Ghana Mission